K goes to the hospital

K has Epilepsy. He is on medication for it but every once in awhile he still has seizures. Today he was at school, sitting at the table having snack, when he suddenly fell off his chair. His head hit the table before he started convulsing. The school staff are great, they know what to do. They left him, making sure there was a clear area around him, and started timing the seizure. They know not to call 911 unless it lasts longer than 5 mins. But after 2 mins he stopped breathing. They called 911 immediately and then called Hubby. He started breathing again on his own, and was sent to the hospital in an ambulance.
By the time I got there he was a little drowsy, because the paramedics had to give him something to calm him down in the ambulance, and he had a HUGE bruised bump on the side of his head. The doctor checked him out and said there was no concussion, but she wanted to increase his meds until we see his neurologist again next month.
The last time K stopped breathing during a seizure was when he had his first one at 14. It was the worst thing to watch. It still is. (See K’s other hidden disability). Hopefully this new dose will work better. He’s grown a lot in 4 years!
So no Mommy Time for me tomorrow. Oh well. But I have to keep K home to keep an eye on him.
I’ve had it with this week, and it’s only Wednesday!

P.

When it happens to you

B came up to our room last night very upset. He asked me to come downstairs and see something on the computer. When I got down there I was greeted by a Facebook page with pictures of all my boys, calling them retards and saying horrible things about them. I immediately reported it to FB and took screen shots.
I know who it was who did it. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind. It is the same kid who has been spreading horrible lies about B. But for him to bring the rest of my family into his little game is the last straw for me.
Monday morning Hubby and I are going to the school to report this to the principal. We will tell the principal that we intend to press charges. He will call the police, who can contact FB and trace the IP address to who made the page. That, and the screenshots, are more than enough proof.
A few months ago this kid accused B of something horrible enough that the police were called. He had no proof. It was his story against B’s.
This kid has got away with so much because his parents don’t monitor his computer use. I went to check this kid’s page. He doesn’t have it blocked so I scrolled through his timeline. The language he uses is horrible! Sure enough, a month ago, he had posted a link to the other page. And on the whole other page, he is the only one who has commented. The similarities between both pages is exact. Gotcha.
We fully expect to press charges. This kid can’t get away with this one. This is the perfect way to set an example to all the other kids in the school that cyber-bullying, and making hate pages like this kid did, is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
I am not looking forward to this fight, but it must be done. This has to stop.
UPDATE After reporting the page to Facebook I got a reply saying the page does NOT violate their Statement of Rights and Responsibilities! Seriously? We’ll see about that.
The school is meeting with the other boy’s parents this evening. I have to meet with the school and the police tomorrow. The vice-principal said if it is proven that the other boy created the page the consequences will be very serious. Darn right it will be serious! Between this kid and now Facebook, it seems I still have a lot of fighting to do. To be continued.
UPDATE Went back to the school today. They had to wait for the police to come so instead of waiting there all day I came home. The vice-principal said she would call me. I checked this afternoon and not only is the horrible page gone, but the kid’s personal page is gone as well. When B came home he told me the police were still outside the school. I never did get a follow-up call but I am sure she will call me tomorrow. At least the page is gone.
I was reading on Twitter today that a mother was told by FB that she needed to remove pictures of her DS child because, according to them, it went against their statement about discrimination! But some idiot kid can say horrible things about my kids and it’s ok? Get with it FB! I don’t know who is in charge of screening pages but they need to be fired. My report rejection was signed by “Viki”. Start with her. Seriously.

P.

Special Saturday – Caring for the Carer

One of the wonderful parents I follow on Twitter started a movement called Special Saturday. Every Saturday there is a new topic of discussion close to the heart of parents of children with special needs. This Saturday’s topic hit very close to home for me, so I thought it would be a good thing to blog about.
Caring for the Carer. How do we, as parents, deal with the stress that comes with raising our kids? Most of you know of my diagnosis (See “It can be so hard” and “Let’s talk”.) K is a huge trigger for me. I am off work a few weeks every year for stress leave, as he will cause me to go into a depression. This time it was dealing with the fact that he might be going blind. But the surgeries took care of that, he is on the right path to permanent care, and my mood is improving. I have had to learn how to recognize my triggers to avoid another depression, but that is very difficult in my case.
There are so many things that parents like us have to deal with that parents of “normal” kids don’t. Babysitting or daycare for example. So many families have to have one parent stay home to care for the child. Hubby and I worked opposite shifts for years so one of us would always be here. We can’t afford having one of us stay home. But most families don’t have that choice. They can’t find appropriate care for their child so they have to become the main carer. Many parents I speak to home school their children, so they don’t even get a break during the day.
K is in school full-time so that makes a big difference. We also get respite care (see “K’s new respite”) for one week every month. I am lucky in that way. I don’t know how some of the other parents I talk to do it, with no breaks at all. Everyone needs a break sometimes. So I have been reading the Special Saturday tweets, seeing how other parents deal with stress, admiring them for their strength and patience. It always puts things in perspective for me. What about you?

P.

K, pizza and Pica

One thing I don’t think I have mentioned is K’s diagnosis of Pica. Pica is an eating disorder that causes the person to eat non-edible objects. It is very common in children with Autism, and it can be very dangerous. Some of the objects that K has eaten include:
Carpet underpadding.
Couch stuffing.
Elastic bands
Toy car rubber wheels
Coins
Hair brush bristles
A rubber glove.
Yes. A rubber glove. We found out when he woke up one day sick and looking grey. We brought him to the hospital and they did an x-ray, which showed what looked like a pin stuck in his stomach. He was rushed down to Sick Kids where we waited to see if he would need surgery to have it removed. Hubby went home to pick up a few things and noticed a hair brush with bristles missing on the floor in K’s room. He brought it with him to the hospital and, when compared to the x-ray, it was confirmed it was a bristle, not a pin. (The following is not for the faint of stomach) The doctor came in to do an exam and it caused K to have a huge BM. The doctor pulled out what looked like cardboard from his bum. Hubby, being a big CSI buff, put on some gloves and examined the lump. He stretched it out and we found an entire rubber glove (the non-latex kind you find in hospitals). We don’t keep any in the house so the only place he could have got hold of one was at respite, as they use them for diaper changes. I made sure the administrator there was made aware of what happened. (Ok, gross part over).
Controlling K’s appetite is an ongoing battle. If he had his way he would eat all day. He is constantly going to the fridge. We tried putting a lock on it and he almost pulled it down on himself! Whenever we have dinner and S is at work, we put the leftovers in the microwave. If I’m not looking, K will go straight to the microwave and eat what is there.
But pizza. That is a whole fight in itself. I was tired today so I ordered a pizza. S was at work and Hubby was at a Union meeting. Pizza is a staple in this house. We have it at least twice a week. But that doesn’t stop K from trying to eat every single piece. I put the box in the oven to save it for S and Hubby. I left the room for one minute and I heard the oven door open. I ran back and there K was, head in the oven, trying to grab as many pieces as he could. I smacked his hand and got 2 back from him, but he managed to get 3. I tried to grab it back from him and he hit out, and kicked out, keeping me away from him so he could shove it all into his mouth. I let him finish eating, took him by the arm, led him up to his room, tucked him in bed, and closed the door. His usual bedtime routine, one hour early, but with no cuddles or kisses. He knew I was upset. I hear him banging around in his room, but he hasn’t come out. I will get Hubby to check on him when he gets home.
Sometimes if we leave the empty pizza box in the kitchen, K will put it back into the oven. He will keep checking to see if pizza has appeared.
He is so lucky he’s cute.

P.

B’s broken heart

I feel so horrible. It really wasn’t my fault, but as B’s mom I always seem to take on responsibility for his mistakes. Because of his ADHD, B finds it very hard to concentrate on tasks. He also has trouble with time management and getting organized for assignments and tests. It is a daily routine for me to have to go through a list of questions “Did you do your homework?” “Do you have a test coming up?” “Is there an assignment due?” But there still always seems to be something he forgets.
Last year he did a History project that earned him an 80% and a trip to the city finals! We were all so proud! His topic was Remembrance Day. He kept that project in his room all year. Yesterday he comes to us and says this years History project is due…today. He had done all the research but needed a tri-fold board to mount it on. Hubby took him to the local store to get supplies but there were no tri-fold boards. But B was so adamant that he needed it, that we told him he had to use the one from last year. That meant he had to take everything off. He brought it downstairs and started taking things off, and the look on his face broke my heart. He had been so proud of it! I tried to make him feel better by saying we can’t keep everything forever and he said he knew, but I couldn’t help but feel his disappointment with every piece he tore off.
Even after he had taken everything off that he could, it still had glue and some paper left on it. He kept saying he was going to fail. I could see the frustration mounting in him. I went to Hubby and told him what happened and after dinner he went to find another store. He finally found one, brought it home, and B finished his project. He went off to school this morning still thinking he was going to fail. I told him that he did the best he could and that is all that he can expect from himself. He may not make the finals with this one but I know he won’t fail.
And last years board sits stripped. I really wish we could have saved it.
P.