What would YOU do?

This is probably going to be one of my most controversial blogs. I am sure I will get arguments from both sides and I actually hope I do because I would really love to hear what everyone thinks of the subject.
There was a news article shared with me by one of the other parents I talk to who has a child with DS. It was about a couple who sued a hospital because they were told their child did not have Down Syndrome, but she was born with it. They were upset that they were lied to and that they were not significantly prepared to raise a child with Downs. They were awarded over $2 million.
This raises many questions for me. One, does this mean they regret the birth of their beautiful daughter? Two, if they did know beforehand would they have terminated the pregnancy? Three, is having a child with Down Syndrome such a horrible thing? I don’t think so.
I asked hubby what his view on this was and he mentioned that I had wished I had known for sure beforehand so I would have been more prepared. That’s true, but not because I would have terminated the pregnancy but because I would have read more about it. He said if he was told his child would be healthy and it wasn’t he would probably have done the same thing. I was shocked but his opinion is his own. I know he loves K and would never change him for the world. But his stance on this issue got me thinking.
If I had known with absolute certainty that K would be born with Downs I would have read up on it. I would have been prepared as much as possible. But you can never be completely prepared when you have a child with SNs! You have to expect the unexpected. But there are some people who don’t think they could handle raising a child like K.
But to sue the hospital that gave you the wrong results? That is never something I would do. And I will bet my bottom dollar that many parents feel the same way as I do. But I’m not naïve. I know some parents will see it from the other point of view.
Please leave me a comment about your thoughts on this subject. I would love to know where my readers stand.

P.

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4 thoughts on “What would YOU do?

  1. This is a tough one because I have two conflicting thoughts on this. One: I don’t wish my son with DS had never been born, and I’d hate for other people to think that’s what I wish for. Two: Having $2 million dollars to pay for his school and therapy and provide for his future would be AWESOME. However, to be able to sue for a misdiagnosis to receive the money means you have to pretty much tell the world you’d have terminated your pregnancy if you’d had the chance, and therefore you wish your kid had never been born. I can’t assume these parents wish their kid had never been born because that’s not fair to them. I do know I’d probably sue in the same situation, and I could live with people thinking terrible things about me if it meant I’d receive $2 million for my son. (Also, if I was American, I’d definitely sue because they don’t have universal health care.)

    • That is exactly what my husband says. It’s impossible to say what some parents will or won’t do. I agree the costs are substantial, and I don’t pretend to know how it is in the States, but here we get financial support (not anywhere close to $2M) to ease some of the costs. But your point is completely valid. The only way they could sue was to tell the world they would have terminated it. If I wanted to I could put K into the system with a snap of my fingers. All I have to say is I am abandoning him as I can no longer take care of him. But i would never do that either.

  2. I really think there are too many lawsuits already, mainly because of the people who think doctor’s and lab technicians are able to predict and prevent every possible problem…like they are God or something. This is just the kind of thing that doesn’t sit well with me. It has driven good doctors out of practice and skyrocketed costs for all people. Set SNs aside and think of the health/social problems that “normal” people create that cost us plenty.

    True, SN people have additional costs, but I really think that the challenge of dealing with the needs of different segments of our society lies in what the families of these human beings can figure out…it is not something “the system” can ever truly take care of. I think that everybody on the planet could be doing so much more and so many of us “normal” folks are going along, and along and get upset if they have to deal with someone different. We are supposed to be discontented with the the wrongs of the world to be motivated to make changes….hopefully for the better.

    So, these people got 2 million bucks (was that after the lawyer fees…?)…the kid is here and they still have to get on with their lives…still have to love their child the best they can and maybe realize what they’ve done on a spiritual level…and I dearly hope that the kid never knows.

  3. Your post really got my interest. I’ll be 11 weeks pregnant on Thursday, and am looking forward to my 12 week scan. I’m aware that I have the option to have the nuchal translucency (NT) scan. When I spoke to my midwife, I was thinking that I would have it, but not have the further, more invasive tests, but then I was discussing it with my friend (whose 2 weeks ahead of me) and she said she wasn’t going to have it, because if she found out that the child did have Downs, she wasn’t going to abort, so preferred not to have the worry or pressure.
    For me, the idea of aborting, well killing a child with Downs Syndrome makes me feel like such a hypocrite, because I work with adults with learning disabilities, some of which have Downs Syndrome!! I know that having a disabled child would be harder, but we’ll deal with it if we need to.
    It seems kind of crazy that they won the case, maybe the USA needs to think about how they word their results. From the books/websites I’ve read, the tests only tell you if there’s an increased chance or not. I must say, from what I’ve heard about financial restrictions/support in the states, I’m glad that I live in Great Britain! I know the services aren’t perfect, but after working with adults with learning disabilities since 2000, I’ve learnt a lot.

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